I don't even know where to begin. Sometimes there are people that question their faiths or other faiths. People that are positive or negative in even wanting to believe in such a person we call "GOD". I have to tell you, there were times in my life where I was doing that same exact thing. Then, I started to realize something. The more I believed in God, the more my life was coming together. This reassurance that everything, no matter what, was going to be okay.
Sometimes I felt lost or confused as to what I was supposed to do, but as my life goes on, it somewhat becomes focused.
I used to have so much anger, whether it be at the world, people, or life. I have to say though, I am finally re-leaved. Sure, there are those moments that still come about, and get into my thoughts. I just have to push them out. Because only evil puts evil thoughts into my head. Defeat and conquer I say.
....right now in my life, I feel that it is going for the good. I fully believe that the prayers I have been praying about are really getting answered, and my life is getting in line. And you know what....I feels so good.
We have had our hard times, Alan and I. But what makes you a better person is working through those hard times. Understanding that God only provides what He thinks you need. Not what you want or desire. Worldly possessions won't matter later on. What, do you think if and when you get to go to heaven you are going to take all your possessions with you? I think not. For example: my car. I loved my car. I didn't want to give it up for the life of me, but then it was more of a burden then anything. It was something that I could really live without. Just this thing that I had to step back and think, "do I really NEED it". I mean we have one car, and I could always get a used car down the road.
And when we decided to sell it, we didn't know if it would happen. We were lost, and unsure. So, I started praying. I tend to do it more by myself in my own time. Then out of no where, we got a call Monday....MONDAY! And it was sold by Wednesday in the same week. This huge massive debt that God alone, has lifted off Alan and my shoulders. We are still in shock. I feel like I can somewhat breath deeper and smoother with it gone, and me not having to worry about it anymore.
But even before that. You all know about the crazy job situation I have been in for quite a while now. Me going from one job to the other. A friend of mine, Kaci, said to me: Liz, there are reasons why you are going to all these jobs. God wouldn't put you there for no reason. Now that I think of it, I do see it. I am not ashamed to tell people I am a Christian. I will tell them what I believe, and if they have any questions for me, I will try to answer them. Each job has been a really good experience and has taught me something about myself each time. Now He is sending me to Apple Tree where I get to be an influence in the lives of children. Teach them things, so they can go on in life. I believe it will be a great adventure for me. I am completely excited about it.
Also with the fact that Alan was able to get a job, after applying to different places. Working and going to school full time isn't the easiest in the world, but we are making it work for us. At the same time, he is looking for a clerkship (as he calls it) for the summer. So, hoping it pans out. Guess we will have to wait and see on that one.
Even though I dislike moving (hate is such a horrible word), I am happy that we are. It gives us a fresh start. We were kind of lost if we were going to find any place. They were either way too small or way up their in price. We did want a good amount of space. Then there were some places that just didn't have any rooms open, and we seemed to be at a long distance from everything. With the luck of knowing some friends who lived in these one apartments that we didn't try yet, and there just happen to be only one room open. We were able to grab it. Everything passed and we got the call the next day that we got it. Which is right by my new work. So, I think God is working really hard with us right now. Everything, like I said, is falling in line. A fresh start is always good.
So yes, Alan and I have had ups and downs, and we forever will. I don't think there will be any end to that. It is just all how you handle it. We are not super people. We can't change our life like that. We have to know that He is steering us in the right direction.
Be content with what you have, for God has said, "Never
will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So say with
confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid."
- Hebrews 13:5,6
Come unto me, you who are weary and overburdened, and I
will give you rest.
- Matthew 11:28
