Some of my photos...

Dream a little Dream....

Life is crazy. You never know what you will become or what path you will have.

.... But when I was a little girl, I had great aspirations.

...to list the things I wanted to be.

These were only dreams of course.

I wanted to be a world renown photographer. I wanted to explore the world and capture moments. Glimpses that could be captured in one second to last a life time of memories. I could look back on them and say, I was there. I wanted to work for National Geographic. I wanted to see the world. I wanted to have stories to tell my kids and great grand kids of all the wonders that I have seen. I wanted to share them all with the world. I wanted to capture the beauty that is around us all, that sometimes we don't take the time to look at. I still want to do this. I guess it has always been my passion. What is inside of me. I have this urge that just wants to get out and shine. I want to take pics of the strange things. Pictures that are from weird angles and sometimes people will look at you and say, why? And I will tell them why. Beauty is everywhere.

I wanted to be a world traveler. This goes along with being a photographer. I want to meet people from everywhere. I want to go to places were I have my ancestry and much more. I love to be encompassed in culture. If there was nothing to stop me, I would take off now. Scotland, Ireland, Sweden, Holland, Italy, France, Germany, Australia....just to name a few. The world could be my oyster. Only if...right?

Then there is a storm chaser. I was that girl who stood out on the porch in storms, lightening and all. My mom had to drag me in sometimes. I always wanted to get a closer look. If only for a little bit longer. I still get captivated by lighting storms. How is crawls across the sky in all it's vengeance, but yet stunningly beautiful at the same time. It's alive. I like to watch the skies move and get darker. How they can swirl and make a force that can destroy everything. I don't care for the destroying part, but just the atmosphere of it all. When I was a little girl, I ran outside when it rained and loved the way the rain danced. When I got older I wanted to be one of those people who wanted to run into a storm chaser car with my colleges and go after whatever it was. Any kind of storm would suffice. My mom once said, "but Liz, that is dangerous. What if you died." My answer, "It would be an adventure that has it's risks, but doesn't everything?"

Then there is the artist turned Graphic Designer later on. I am not one to read everything about every artist, but I do have art history books. I can't memorize the stuff for the life of me, but when I look at painting or drawings, it astounds me. I look closer to see the depth. I can see the strokes and layers that it took to create that piece of art. The time and patience that person had. People don't appreciate art these days. It is a lot of hard work. Now, I can't draw people really at all, or hands nonetheless. What I like is landscapes. I remember there was this colorful still life that I still have in my closet that I did. It was something for a college class. It wasn't something that you only did for class time, but also that you had to take the time out of your schedule after hours to go in a finish up. It took me 16 hours total in one week to finish with color pencil. Out of those 16 hours, only 4 hours were class time. I worked hard at that piece, and it is still one of my favorite pieces to this day, even if it is just a still life.

I have to say I miss my graphics programs. To have those again, would be wonderful. I would have to teach myself again, but that shouldn't be too hard. I have all kinds of books on it still from college. Maybe one day I will get back into it. I don't know where I got this love for drawing, I guess it has always been with me. That is what my dad used to say. He drew stuff as well. I used to watch him draw. I loved watching him draw. He always believed that I would become something, and always believed I was born to be an artist. As a little girl I would just stare at the world. To observe it, and absorb it in.

And at the same time, I am sad to how we treat the world around us. We has humans just through stuff everywhere, without a care in the world. Will it be as pretty as it is right now, or will be destroy it little by little. Will all we have are pictures and paintings of what once was.

...... I am hoping beauty will still exist in the future. For it is our inspiration.

....I guess I think there could still be that chance where my dreams will come true. I guess only time will tell.

Thoughts

I sometimes think a lot. Sometimes too much.

But I think it is a good thing to get things out of my head.

I know I am not perfect. I am happy to say that I am not. I don't want to be. I have my mistakes. I make them everyday.

First off, I have been up and down about my job situation. I have a tendency to get in a depression mode when things like this happen. I am familiar with this stage. But I do eventually get out of it. For example today, I was very productive, where as in yesterday I didn't have any energy to move. I think it was good for me to get out of my apartment today. I needed the fresh air, and it gives me a new out look. I have to be thankful to such close friends and family for their support and help. I know I am blessed by God.

Also about getting everything ready for a wedding. I have most of the stuff, but still consumed with craziness. I am glad to have met the guy that I will one day call my husband. Husband, wow, that is still very interesting off of the tip of my tongue. I think this is the happiest that I have been in my whole life. He gives me hugs when I need them, he supports me for anything that I seem to want to do, gives me flowers for no reason, gives the best foot massages ever, loves me despite my faults. Sometimes I look down at my finger with a ring that was given to me by a man that I love. I ponder about it sometimes. I have this guy who wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Who has given me a gift of a whole new life. A whole new journey that I can add to another chapter of my life. But sometimes I am still amazed. I look at myself, and say, really me? I do have self esteem issues, this is no surprise. He tells me I am beautiful all the time, and I know I will have to hear it for the rest of my life, because apart of me will never believe it. I told him that I will get grey hair and develop wrinkles, and his response is, Awesome! He loves me no matter what, and at that I am astounded. I think God helped give a push to put him in my life. And for that I am thankful. A huge part of it also goes to Charlie and Crystal for also giving us that push to meet, and from there it became what it is now.

Friends are also a huge part of my life. I love you all. You don't know what it means for me to have all you guys as friends. I never really had too many friends or none at all when I was growing up. I got a few friends in high school. Just to name a few are my best friend Shannah, Crystal, Cynthia, and Roxy....and so on. Through college I gained a lot more. Far to many to name on here, but you know who you are. Also my church friends and connection group. I love meeting new people everywhere I go. I have had the biggest support from you guys.

Then there is my family. Gosh, I know we have been through some hard times with each other, and of course we don't always get along. We don't have the same ideals, but that is what's so great. We are not a like. I have different thoughts and opinions about life and how I want to live. And that is okay with me. The most important thing is to except each others differences.

Again, I say I am not perfect. I sin everyday. But I know that God, as long as I look to him for my path in life, will and has forgiven me. I say stupid things and I do stupid things. Everyone does. I also have a tendency to judge, which I should not, because only God can and has the right to judge. Again, I am working on it. Most of the time I do feel that I am judged myself on everything I do. I hope to be a better person someday following in what God wants me to do. I, as you would call, am a work in progress. Right now I wish to give a big apology to whom I have done wrong by, because you know I didn't really mean it. Sometimes I just need to be told hey Liz, you are being a jerk. And I will be like okay.

But that is what has been on my mind lately . Thanks for hearing my rambles.

Love Liz

Dear God,

Sometimes I don't know what you want from me, but I will try my best to follow this path that you have for me. I am a little confused, but then again, arn't we all. I understand that I will go through good times and bad times; which I have clearly come across recently. I just pray that you will help me along this journey. Preferably, helping me get a job at the moment. I know I have to let it all to you. Which I am happy to give 100%. You know I wasn't happy there. I did feel like I was getting no where, and I know I didn't think I was meant to stay there. I don't know if I could hear one more person in their sad displacement. But I tried to help them as much as I knew how. I love to help people. It makes me happy when I am able too. So, therefore I feel that this could actually be a sign. Maybe for something better. Who knows. Life will in fact go on.

~Elizabeth

Psalm 27:3,5,13-14
Though an army may encamp against me, My heart shall not fear; Though war may rise against me,In this I will be confident. For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; In the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock. I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!

.....thanks to everyone that has been by my side. Alan, I love you so much. You were right there for me, like you always have been. I don't even know how much I thank you for your love for me. I look into your eyes and I see the man that I am going to spend the rest of my life with. A man who has faith in God, and has great passion. I see a guy who has determination, and more strength then I can't even ponder. When I am down, you lift me up and make me smile. When I need a hug, you wrap your arms around me and squeeze. Sometimes, the only thing I need is a hug. Thank you to my family and friends. No matter where we are in life or what our differences are, I will always love all of you. I am a person who does not want to hold hatred toward anyone. I want to see the joy and wonderfulness in each person. Life is too short to stay mad with hate. It consumes too much of my soul. I would rather smile then frown. I would rather love then hate. I would rather forgive then forget.

It is a beautiful day outside....I might take a walk and take the time to think. An view God's creation.

God Bless.

Dear God give me strength...

So, when I think my life is under control, I smack right into a wall.

Today started out to not be so bad. We were celebrating Ally's birthday at work, and I didn't get any bad calls. I have been doing pretty well with my job. Well, I get off work and I get a call from my temp agency telling me that I am no longer needed. After 5 or so months of trying to get hired on, one call and it all ends. I tried my best and worked really hard. So, I don't know what their deal is. Now, I have to re-prioritize. Trying to figure out how I am going to pay for bills. I will be in the process of saying good bye to my car, cancelling my gym membership, maybe my life insurance if it gets to that point, and who knows how I am going to be able to save up for the wedding now.

I have invitations in the process. So, I am not sure how that is going to work. I have no clue how I am going to do all this. I think a lot of praying and leaning on God will get me through this. Hopefully I get something fast. This isn't like last time where I had vacation pay, severance, and a couple of paychecks to live off of. This is just one more pay check next week for this week and that's all. Please, as I am praying, can everyone else pray for me too. I have a lot of things that I have to pay for, and live and I just don't know what to do.